MY STORY

Why didn't your parents go to college?

            My parents are both from Guatemala originally, and they lived there until they were almost 30 years old. My Dad grew up in a poor family. His father didn’t help out a lot so my father had to leave home at age of 8 to work with his God father on a ranch. From the time he was 8 until the present he has been trying to provide for his mother, 4 other siblings (3 brothers and 1 sister) and our family. He enlisted in the military when he was 15. They gave him some schooling but it was not necessarily a proper education, just enough to get by and understand orders. He was in the military at the time of the civil war, when he got out he continued to work and provide then came to America. He tried to get his GRE but did not finish- It came down to deciding between feeding his family and going to school and he chose to work to provide for us.

            My Mom got up to the 3rd grade in Guatemala. When she was 12 her mother got sick by the time my mother had turned 13, my grandmother had died of cancer… As the oldest female, my mother had to help take care of 11 younger siblings, so she has also been a major caregiver and provider… She has worked the majority of her life to provide for her family. She came to the US at 30, met my father in America, and from there her mentality has been providing for my family.

 

Did you always plan on going to college?

 

Definitely. At a very young age, my parents emphasized the importance of going to college (especially my father) and getting an education. They wanted to go to school, wanted to be educated, to have the opportunities that me and my sister have had, for themselves but because of circumstance and responsibilities they had to their families they never had the opportunity. My parents were adamant about being strong, independent young ladies. They said the key to that success is an education. Regardless of social class, one powerful tool no one can ever take away from you will be your education. So they prioritized school above everything else. My parents were never happier then when I graduated from 3rd grade.  From there I went to middle school and then I was the first to go to and graduate high school.

 

Parents were open about the fact that they could not afford to pay for my education but also that they couldn’t afford for me to stay at home. They said, by 17 you will have a job or an education, but most likely you will have an education. They told me to do everything you can in high school to set myself up so that I am set for college, right after, to get as many scholarships as you can. I knew I had to go to college but I didn’t where or which one.

 

Do you think your parents wish they had gone to college?

There is something to be said about learning by doing. There is a different kind of wisdom there. There is a difference in learning from this hard-knock-life. However, my parents have told me they would have loved to go to college, or have just to have finished primary school, middle school, or have high school diploma.

What jobs do your parents currently have?

 

My Father is a truck driver and he used to have his own gardening business.My mother Used to have her own daycare and also worked as a cleaner at schools and hotels until getting injured in a car accident. Now she is homemaker for my family.

 

How different do you think your life would be if your parents had gone to college?

I think it would have been radically different. I think the way my parents idealized the way they wanted life to go is that they would provide for me and my sister everything that they never had as children, they never wanted us to feel like there wasn’t enough food, that there would never be roof over our head, that they didn’t love us. It would have been radically different in the sense that they would have been able to provide more materially—potentially send us to better schools/boarding schools.

 

But diploma or not. My dad is hands down one of the smartest men I know…I think I am smart and have read all these books but I can honestly talk to my dad about many things I have learned or read and he has said the most enlightening things that no student or professor has ever said… I admire the way his brain works. if my dad had gotten an education in US the world would’ve been in trouble., The world would’ve been his playground. It still kind of is but I think it would’ve been a difference in class

 

My mom regardless of degrees is always right, she always knows.

I think that’s a function of her having such a hard life and knowing how to navigate hard situations. If she had that piece of paper, then she would’ve been able to have a better income.

So maybe we would’ve gone to possibly better schools, possibly having more things but in the end I don’t think that stuff would’ve mattered....

 

What is your personal reason for going to college?

My personal reason for going to college has pretty much been the fact that this is everything my parents have worked for their entire lives to do. This is for me but more than anything this is for them. This is for everyone who ever believed in me, who ever trusted me, picked me up when I was dead tired after working so much, this is for everyone who said I could do it and everyone who said I couldn’t do it… Going to college and seeking that education was for awhile, for everyone else. A sign of thank you and that I am going to do this. I think it has changed a lot since 4 years of being in college. Of course there is still sentiment of doing this for someone else but through this education that I’ve gotten, it is also very empowering to say that this experience I am having is for me. This kind of education I have received at Harvard has made me think critically about who I am, what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, why it matters. From there  it’s the kind of confidence that comes from an education that makes me value an education in ways I never thought possible.

 

 

What is your Dream job?

Newly elected president of Guatemala by age 40, and a practicing lawyer interested in international law, prosecuting laws against humanity, violation of human rights (pressing matter in Guatemala), also a Phd in forensic anthropology- to help reclaim bodies that happened in Guatemalan genocide

I think my degree will definitely help me in this pursuit.

The degree helps me think: why? Why do people say the things they have to say? Why are they publishing this? Why are they using this space? And why are they using their voices? How are they using their voices? Which ways?

Its setting up a way for me to think critically about the way people perceive and project the world… and archeology is a way of handling the material itself…and seeing the kind of influence it has on government and on people.

Right now, I think my bachelors degree is just a stepping stone, to give me the tools I need to go forward and continue my education, its my first step in realizing all these dreams, but the most essential, its the foundation.

 

 

College app advice

I first turned to my parents, I told them of my plans of where I was going to apply. They were there to validate my decisions by their standards because that matters to me a lot. Then I turned to my guidance counselor and told him where I was thinking of applying. I chose places because they have solid programs but most importantly they have full financial aid. That was my #1 criteria for picking school, but quality of education came second and nearly synonymous with that financial aid. Looking at good schools with good medical programs, great science departments, great faculty- great financial aid- so a lot of schools that were the overall package.

I looked at these schools. Most of all I turned to my Spanish teacher of 4 years. Nicknamed the Goddess, she never allowed me to limit myself in the decisions I was making- she told me I could attend an Ivy league school or whatever school I want. She told me I have the potential, the intelligence, the possibilities, you have people backing you up, there is no reason you shouldn’t do it…I turned to her for a lot of moral support and advice, she made me think that maybe I wasn’t dreaming big enough. Convinced me that the schools will help me…

I turned to the internet. I Googled everything. I requested a pamphlet from everywhere I could find, up to 50 pieces of mail every other day (to which my mom said I better choose a school soon because all this was going straight to the trash, in Spanish of course.)

 

So it was really Amalgamation of independent research, guidance counselor for scholarship help, Spanish teacher for moral support

 

Who do you go to for career advice?

Right now, I have to search for it. Right now I am in the path of following forensics. I go to my mentors here, my professors, Bill Fash, Doris Sommer, Advisor David Carrrasco, Gary Urton. I feel if I have any of these questions, or if they have any connections with someone they know who might help me-- I would go to them with my ideas and questions. They might virtually introduce me to people, put out feelers here, send emails here. Before I ask for career advice I try to have a clear sense with myself of where I’m going- then ask mentors…Then maybe a little bit of OCS to see what they have in their catalogs.

 

Who are the biggest influences in your life?

My parents. First and foremost they are the end all be all of influences. It matters what they say, what they don’t say, what they think…The best expression I can think of with my family is ride or die. My family is a ride or die family. We have each others backs, wear our hearts on our sleeves, move mountains for each other, we would intake so much personal suffering to make sure they are doing better, stress ourselves out, work harder, do anything and drop anything at the drop of a hat. Those are the type of values that my parents instilled in me. And I love that passion, drive, the work ethic they have taught me…, along with my education, are one of the most brilliant useful and greatest inheritances I could have ever got from my family

My sister, who is by my side in that process of growing up and digesting the world I think that person is also very influential… She is younger but she is loads smarter then me. I would not be the person I am today if she was not in my life.

 

 

I think it took me awhile to realize that my experience is not what you would call normal. Example: Freshmen Parents weekend -  LPSA and saw parents there sitting next to their kids. I think them physically being there was one of the major differences I realized. My parents will never be here, never understand these college experiences, mostly because we cant afford it or afford to miss day of work or take a vacation the way other parents can. I would see how these parents would start explaining parts of these lectures to their kids, be in agreement with the professor was saying, or judging the quality of the lecture or how their kids were learning, I also think my parents would never do that either, they would be sitting there staring at the screen learning and trying to take in all the little pieces of info, a difference in knowing.

 

Being a first gen has completely shaped my Harvard experience. A lot of parents handle  The things that most kids think are insignificant- flights, Financial aid paperwork, taxes. I had to figure out how to make my own living while on Harvard campus, and handle these things on top of being a student, on top of acclimating, trying new sports, meeting new friends, being in a social group, being in a completely new state where I knew no one and had nothing but the shirt on my back. One of those experiences that I learned how to survive in my environment with my parents by my side and the next four years I would be learning how to survive on my own.
I think that is the mentality I had approaching, in past four years my mentality has become how am I going to make sure I am going to be at same level or have same opportunities as kids who went to private school, have parents as resources, kids who don’t have to work and be same quality and have same capacity as them. Because I am going to be competing for these jobs, positions at grad school and everything and I have to stand out and handle my business here.

 

On whether she thinks first gen’s have a stronger work ethic than other students.

I think it depends how you define work. Physical work ethic depends on person. Academic work ethic depends on how person considers the importance of their education. Especially at harvard, you will have geniuses- that are the most brillian thngs to ever exist who seem in a diff species as you, and don’t have to work as hard. That’s just the way it is. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t work hard or work hard in other facets of their life. It is just something that they are born with.

There is something to be said for first gen kids who recognize that this is their shot. They have to go balls off the wall, thinking: I have to do everything and be everything and work so hard because I owe it to so many different people. (College) Its not just an experience for my personal growth but experience for my family’s growth. It’s the starting point of a legacy. First gen makes it 2nd gen takes it. What we make of our education and time at Harvard is pretty much what our time means here.. The work ethic that goes into that and that kind of realization is what defines how work is handled by first gen student and how its a driving force to continue working.

 

On the level of competitiveness she has faced.

A lot of kids who were really smart, who were well off and had a lot of great opportunities simply by virtue of how much money their parents made, I had to always put myself in a position at top of class so that I could go to a good school.

 

What kind of school did u go to?

I went to a Really good elementary school… from there got into a gifted and talented program. I had to test into these kinds of programs, with higher attention more material in shorter amount of time. They wanted me to skip 2 grades but parents said no because didn’t want me to be socially awkward. The way I bypassed the districting laws was by performing well and continuing testing into them and Continue to qualify to go to these good public schools, and get a higher based education so you don’t have to worry about the district laws

 

I didn’t live in great neighborhood. I was not supposed to go to these schools. I ended up going to a blue ribbon middle school- emphasis on math and science, higher levels. From that middle school it was stepping stone to go to other programs with good schools in California.

 

When that ran out and my dad and I went to visit the middle school I was supposed to go to at age 13… when we visited there was a shootout between gangs going on, friends said there is a lot of gang violence, shootouts every other day, drugs, not many Latinas, tend to discriminate, girls getting raped, boys being muscled into gangs. My father was very afraid and did not want that for my sister or me at all. That’s why we moved to TX. –  Picked up and went to a state we didn’t have any connections in- didn’t have jobs, didn’t have a network there. knew there was a good school, decent house, and started building again from there…

Driving factor for my family has always been my future and education and my sister’s. The breaking point was a bullet that came through the window that almost killed my mother. If we are going to continue to be poor, we mine as well send our daughters to a good schools and feel safe.

My dad welded bars over windows to make sure no one could break in. Made them decorative so mom wouldn’t be upset about it, (in Cali) feel safe. I understood I could not go past the sidewalk by myself. I was accompanied everywhere. We could never go on public transportation alone, no school bus to neighborhood. My parents worked extremely hard to make sure we were safe at all times. My neighborhood was not the projects or worst neighborhood but there were drug dealers, rapists, domestic violence felons. We lived in our house and we could not go past sidewalk- caged in a sense – when we went to school we felt free.

 

 

On how much agency Lenica feels she has had in choosing her own path

As a little kid, Going to these schools, performing well, made me happy –That, plus my parents had unspoken rule of as long as you do very well in school, you can watch as much TV as you want.

 

On breaking boundaries

I try not to think about it too hard because it stresses me out. I just try to think no matter how much I do, how many accomplishments or mistakes, how many failures I have, my parents are going to be by my side. So I Just try to do my best and leave it all here.

 

On potential changes in relationships w family

It is completely different now. I am half way across the country. I see them once or twice a year whereas I used to see them every single day. We are still very close but now we are just not physically close-

 

My schedule is somewhat sporadic and if I have the chance to do this or do that I am going to take it- work on something a little more or I have taken breaks to travels…As a kid I have never imagined that I had the chance to go to another country or learn another language or do all these things. the fact that I have that opportunity at Harvard and often it comes at No or very minimal cost is fantastic. I take those opportunities so that means I may not be able to see my parents as much.

 

A lot of times I’m not able to communicate a lot of these ideas and what im learning and what im doing. Self- imposed. I often tell my parents last minute where I am traveling off to….They are okay with this but they just tell me to Always come home for Christmas and try to come home at least 1 week in summer.

Its radically differnet – its harder to communicate whats going on- partially because I don’t want them to feel guilty or feel bad about them not being able to do this themselves but also I don’t want for me to saw something or look at me weird  or think I’m a total oddball- which they know I am already. not that I don’t think they would understand but I don’t want them to feel disrespected in any way or that I am not taking advantage of this education. I want to make sure it doesn’t come off as what I’m doing is me intentionally separating myself from them.

 

Physical distance and lack of communication is hard but they call me about once a week…The way I relate to them doesn’t change at all its just what I do or don’t say.

 

They still know I am a goofball, I goof around a lot with them at home and veg out… they tease me saying you go to school and every time you come back you get dumber and dumber….they say all you do is train and sleep and read books what is your life? And I laugh and tell them this college.

 

Im still the same goofball I was at 5, 10, 20, and now and I still don’t know how to do certain things and they still remember, and bring it up—they were the ones wiping my butt, there when I fell, first cried, and they say we know you no matter how smart you are we get you and know who you are as a person. At least in that aspect it, our relationship hasn’t changed and I don’t forsee it ever changing.

 

Has there been any downside to going to college for you?

One “downside” has been since my family has had hard economic time during time in college. We lost our house at one point and we were close to being homeless. So I took a lot of my savings, everything I earned from my year off, sold some of my own stuff and bought my parent’s a house, to make sure they had a roof over their head--- It was never fair for my parents to say that it didn’t matter where they lived, even under a bridge, as long as me and my sister are fine then they would be okay. But that wasn’t okay with me and my sister.

 

But I bought my parents a house…I got electricity started and paid a couple months rent, just to get everything started until my dad could get back on his feet and they could continue to keep things going. So the “downside” has been that I can’t be working and providing for my family how my parents historically have provided for their families. I do wht I can on my end (payrate here is fantastic) but there is only so much I can do. One of the greatest things I can do on my end is make sure everything is taken care of on my end so they never have to worry about me, never have to pitch in or contribute unless they want to. Sometimes I do ask parents for money to treat myself- though minimally in comparison to other parents.

I cant provide or sacrifice the way my parents did. But I think the point is They don’t want me to but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel guilty about it sometimes.

 

What advice would you give?

Study. Study study study study study study study. There will be people in your life that tell you, you cant do it that you will amount to nothing, that you are just another dark colored skin kid that will be a gang banger or have another kid when you are 15 or be working at Mcdonalds. And the potential of that happening is sometimes very real. But that doesn’t mean you have to listen. Don’t let other peoples way of imposing what they see for your life get in the way of what you aspire to be. Do take those people who are constructive, who say you can do it, who give you ideas or dreams that you never thought possible that seem even crazy or wild. And take those to heart. Value those people. Give yourself a reason to get up every day and work even harder. Inspire yourself. Work for other people, inspire other people, and put yourself in the best position you possibly can. Find out what makes you passionate what drives you and find out who is the best at what that correlates the most to and find out how to make that happen

 

Its tough, its going to be tough. I’m not going to sugar coat it. Getting to college, any college not just Harvard. But Getting that next step of the education is a fight. , so don’t be afraid, and it will be scary so at certain points its okay to be afraid….but Don’t be afraid to fight and keep moving forward. Don’t be afraid of being knocked down, and when you do get knocked down, get back up and find a way and find another solution. Because it exists. And you can do it.

 

On what her education means to her

My education is a thank you. To everyone. It is the most powerful thing I have. It’s the reason I can see and imageine a world that is better and aspire to make the kind of  world that will be better for my children. It is the most powerful tool in my arsenal to say this is not good enough lets make something better. It is the fuel in my mobile of dreams. It’s pretty much what allows me to dream bigger and do better. Every day. 

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