​The Beginning 

I was born and raised in Hanover, Massachusetts. 30 minutes south of Harvard. My mom grew up in Massachusetts. My dad was born in NYC, but he was raised in Appleton, Wisconsin. My mom went to high school and got a job in retail right after. Both my parents grew up in big families and I don’t think my grandparents were able to help my mom pay for school and there weren’t any opportunities for her to go- so she went to work immediately. When I was growing up she had an informal daycare, would substitute teach, and had her own cleaning business “Two Moms and a Mop.” She was always there to get us on/off the bus and make sure we were fed though. Now, my mom is a manager at a shoe store, also responsible for the visual merchandising and seasonal displays in 2 different locations. She also makes and sells her own custom jewelry. My dad started college in Wisconsin but did not finish. I don’t know the exact reason he did not finish - but he has said it was difficult and did not have good support. He came out to Massachusetts to visit his sister and find work. He became an electrician often having to travel to jobs for extended periods of time when we were growing up, but he would always play with us in the yard or goof around with us when he was home. We called him “father fun” I think. He would always work extra side-jobs on the weekend to make ends meet and save a little extra, and I know that was really stressful now, but as a kid, I didn’t fully understand just how hard my parents were working to provide for my brothers and me growing up so we could have the good childhood that we did. My dad is now an overseer for a solar company, so he does not have to travel as much, but he still works extremely hard. My grandfather on my dad’s side was from Russia. He was a professional dancer in his country, but ended up fighting in WWII and fleeing to America with his daughter shortly after it ended. In NY he became a janitor- he eventually met my grandmother and they moved to Wisconsin and opened a ballet studio. From what I hear, my grandfather was an incredibly hardworking man and I wouldn’t be here without his courage and strength- I wish I had the chance to meet him to say Thank you for his sacrifices.

 

Have your siblings gone to college?

I have two older brothers. Ben, 25, is a carpenter and Tim, 23, works in construction. Whether working  in the yard landscaping, in the garage fixing our cars, or working in our house fixing our appliances and electricity or redoing our wood floors-- my dad can do all of it himself. Now, my brothers can do a lot of it too. It’s really impressive and extremely useful and importantly, cost-efficient. Both of my brothers are really bright, but school was not something they enjoyed.

Both finished high school, but college was not something Ben was interested in pursuing. After dropping out of high school for a time, Ben, eventually went to night school to get his diploma. He struggled with mishandled learning disabilities and eventually lost interest. He paid close attention to the work my dad would do from a young age. He worked after school and learned more, but he was always in an apprentice with this kind of work for as long as I can remember. He now works for himself and has his own clients. His work is beautiful and he is really talented. Tim was accepted to a few schools in Massachusetts, but did not attend. He has a lot of different interests and I think the idea of going to school was hard because it was overwhelming and I don’t think he wanted to end up studying something he didn’t like. He now is working in construction and going to night school to get his electrical license. I know this is not his “dream job” but he is one of the hardest, most reliable workers I know and he has been saving his money since the 9th grade steadily. I know that he will be successful and I hope that he will have the confidence in himself to pursue something that will really make him happy.

 

I didn’t plan to go to college, I really didn’t think about it seriously until 8th grade. I think I might’ve had distant dreams about it but never became cognizant of college until later growing up. I did always love school from a young age and can remember assigning myself a bedtime at 8 years old so that I wouldn’t be tired for school. It made me really happy to do good work and get good feedback and grades. I loved learning and was really curious and competititive too. Out of school I joined a club soccer team when I was 8 and played on the same team with the same core group of girls until I was 20. I think in middle school I started to learn that soccer could help get scholarships to college and I started to dream about playing “D1” soccer and going to a really good school. I went to public school until high school. In 8th grade, some of my friends on my club soccer team were applying to private schools, which I don’t think I could name ANY in the area at that point. I didn’t know what a private school even was other than, well, expensive and “prestigious.”  After encouragement from my teammate’s mom, my parents asked if I would want to look into it. I definitely wanted to learn more- I didn’t really “fit in” in middle school and definitely felt like I took school more seriously than a lot of my classmates and friends and I think they thought I was “different” that way. I remember buying a nice sweater and pair of khaki pants to go visit these beautiful, beautiful schools. My parents and I took tours and spoke with admissions people and families. I remember feeling SO nervous and walking around with big eyes and probably jaw-dropped. It was a whole new world compared to how I grew up and what I was used to at my middle school- the perfectly landscaped and state of the art buildings and classrooms and brand new gymnasiums and manicured soccer fields. After learning about the amazing teachers and opportunities we decided to apply on a whim. I remember learning there was an admissions test, the SSAT- I made a notebook with blank paper and stapled construction paper for covers. I remember I borrowed a friend’s study book and made myself sit down after I finished my homework and studied for hours every night before the test. I too the test, had an interview, and applied. I remember thinking I didn’t really have any chance of getting in compared to these other kids who had gone to private middle schools or fancy upbringings. Plus, I figured even if I got in, there would be NO WAY we could even afford  it. I remember questioning my parents and almost being mad because I thought it was a tease to show me something I wanted, that I thought I could never actually have.

I will never forget the day I got the letter in the mail and seeing that I had received an amazing financial aid scholarship that my parents eventually decided they could afford. It meant them taking extra jobs and added stress on them and my brothers too, it meant driving with a carpool an hour each way for me and a huge culture shock and increased academic pressure and expectations, but it was such an amazing opportunity for my future that I wanted to try. Luckily I had a couple teammates from my club soccer team who also were accepted and that made the transition a bit easier. I think academically I was so driven and focused that while the workload was a step up from middle school- it wasn’t as big as a change as it was for me just, socially. Seeing kids get dropped off in limousines or range rovers or wearing designer clothes was kind of shocking to me at first. I couldn’t relate to anyone and I felt really alone-my family was also going through some hard times and I think I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone about what was going on at home. It was hard, but luckily, I found some refuge on the soccer team and eventually began to feel more comfortable and confident in myself. I worked on weekends when I didn’t have soccer games and on summer vacations and breaks in a warehouse at the shoe store my mom works at and also as a soccer coach. Compared to my friends I think I had to grow up quickly in that way and really take responsibility for myself- my parents were doing everything they could in terms of working so I had to make sure I was doing everything on my end too. I don’t think it was a regular or “easy” high school experience, but I am and always will be so thankful for  the education I received and the relationships I formed with teachers at Nobles. I think going to Nobles and having success academically helped me prove to myself that I was bright and capable of being successful at the highest level and I think that getting that experience in high school really opened my eyes and prepared me for college.

 

Did your parents encourage you? How supportive have they been throughout the process?

My parents encouraged me and have supported me by always working to help provide for me. I think I have always put so much pressure on myself and been so self-motivated, my parents never said much or “pushed” me to do anything I didn’t want to do. They gave me a chance to go to private school and when it came time to apply to college, it was a similar situation. I think it has been an unspoken kind of support for most of the time.

 

Do you think your parents feel like they lost out by not going? If they could do it over, do you think they would have gone to college, if possible? How much do you feel your parents and grandparents have valued their school-of-hard-knocks?

Yeah, I really think they do feel like they lost out. They have both told me they wished they had gone to college and would’ve loved to be in a position that I am in. At the same time, I think they have both been really hard working all of their lives and know that nothing in life would come easy or be handed to them. I think they take pride in their work and  and I know that work ethic is not something can always be learned in a traditionally educational setting. This school of hard-knocks has definitely shaped their views of the world though and I think they know that the financial security that a college education brings could’ve provided them with the chance to have more experiences and live more comfortably.

 

How much different do you think your life would be if your parents went to college?

I might’ve had the chance to travel abroad or had more material things, but overall I don’t think I could’ve ended up at a better school. :)   I think my parents’ lives would be extremely different but I don’t know how different mine would be, which I think is a testament to the sacrifices my parents have made for me. My parents have had a strained relationship and I know that financial problems have only added to more stress. I have felt extremely guilty at times for holding my parents back through the high cost of my athletic and academic interests. But I know how proud they are and I just try to focus on that now. I think I would think and feel differently about my education and going to college if it were something that my parents and brothers had done though. I think I would have a different perspective and would probably feel more connected to my family but also to my peers. Being the only one in my family who has gone to college or prep school, it has been hard to communicate what I am going through the past 8 years. And, similarly, with friends at school- it can be hard to communicate or relate to my life at home.

 

What was your personal reason for going to college? Has this changed since being in college?

I think that coming into college I was really focused on having the chance to continue playing soccer on the women’s varsity team. It was an incredible opportunity to compete for a D1 program and a dream come true. However, it was more of an added bonus to be able to play soccer and go to such an amazing school. I also think that I was focused on making my parents happy and doing it for them. This is still a big piece of what is driving me but I think that I am more focused on the fact that college has put me in a position to pursue any career I want. I have always dreamt about being a doctor, so I have pursued pre-medical coursework during college. This has served as another “self-test” to see if I really have what it takes to make it all the way. With each year, I feel more capable of my abilities and I think college has been a great space to learn more academically and also personally. It has opened my eyes and exposed me to all different types of people and ways of thought and ways of life. I have made friends from all over the world and had some of the most challenging and most rewarding experiences. I wanted to be challenged, to grow, and I think college has helped me in so many ways.

I am applying for fellowships to travel abroad next year- I have never had the chance and it has always been a dream of mine. I plan to apply to medical school in 1-2 years and I would love to be a physician but also see myself, ideally, being involved in other aspects of health through healthcare reform, policy advocacy, and research. I am very interested in a career regarding both social determinants and clinical pathologies in order to improve health and not simply manage disease.

 

 

Who did you go to for college application advice?

I had a college advisor. She was relatively helpful but gave very general and open-ended advice that sometimes was unproductive. I also was interested in playing soccer intercollegiately and didn’t feel as though she was knowledgeable about how to do this. I went to my soccer coaches and they helped me.

 

Who do you go to for career advice?

I go to the Office of Career Services or the pre-med tutors in Eliot house. They are helpful but that has been one of the biggest struggles in college- not having a strong network of advisors or mentors who really know me and can give personalized advice or suggestions. I have been hesitant to reach out at times and felt overwhelmed. Harvard has many resources but it can be hard to navigate and challenging just to make the first step.

 

Who are the biggest influences on you in your life?

My family has had a huge influence on me in my life. I think I have been really self-motivated but I value their opinion, approval, and support more than they know, I think. Their successes and struggles have deeply affected me and I want to see them happy. They have undoubtedly instilled an incredible work ethic in me since before I can remember, just by settting such a strong example. I am so lucky to have that. My high school soccer coach was a huge influence on me, he supported me and encouraged me and that meant a lot to me. In college, my freshman advisor, Farish Jenkins, who passed away two years ago had a really profound impact on me. I only knew him for a year, but he was very special to me. He was one of the very first people I met when I showed up on campus. He wore a 3 piece suit and reminded me a story-book character, like Indiana Jones. He made me feel so capable and he would ask me about my dreams for my life. He told me he would do everything he could to help me become an aspiring physician. I think that his belief in me was one of the best gifts I’ve ever received. I just feel fortunate to have had the chance to meet him and I miss him dearly.

 

Do you feel there are any down-sides to going to college?

The high-cost has been a burden and it means four years in school when I could be working. But the benefits down the line are irreplaceable and far outweigh the negatives i think.